Survey the room

They say the older we get, the wiser we get. Maybe it would be more accurate to say, the wiser we SHOULD get.

Although, some people are born wise and at peace. For others, like myself, it's a process.

The past several years, I have come to realize I am truly traveling in the right direction.

Wiser financially. Wiser spiritually. A wiser mother, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, co-worker and overall human being.

Please understand everyday is a new adventure bringing a new challenge and unforeseen obstacles.

However, the method in which I choose to leap over these barriers is crucial to my spirit and soul growing wiser.

To handle problems in a mature, reasonable and calm manner has been my quest the past several years. And minus one brief setback recently, I've stayed on course.
The new addition to my journey through life will be a daily blog; at least I pray I can blog and cleanse my soul in this manner daily.
Here goes!

January 6, 2009
I spoke with a close friend on yesterday and at the end of our conversation it dawned on me how angry divorce can make people. That bothered me throughout the day.

After hitting the gym on my lunch break to ZUMBA (if you haven't tried it, please do) and after work for a boot camp class, I realized the one thing we can't do is depend on someone else for our happiness.

Not our friends, our family, our co-workers, our children. It's unfair to place that amount of pressure on others and just as I'm in charge of my destiny, I'm in control of my happiness - from start to finish.

After crawling into bed around 8:30 p.m. I evaluated my love life.

Currently I am in a long distance realtionship. Not a problem, I'm not interested in anything locally taking time away from my children. However, the problem is the lack of emotional dancing.

In the beginning, as with most relationships, our conversations were normal. We clicked immediately. We laughed together for hours, we shared hopes, dreams and goals. We danced endlessly emotionally. We walked into the room hand-in-hand and didn't stop moving, dancing until it was time for our conversation to end.

But suddenly it stopped. He pulled away, not totally but enough where it became noticable and somewhat distrubing.

Don't get me wrong, we're still dancing, only now there are several songs being sat out. Now I can dance in my "Valet Parking only shoes" whereas before they were strictly for show.

Now after we walk into the room hand-in-hand, we dance to a couple of songs and then I'm guided to a table while he goes to the restroom, to the bar, back to the car, check emails or simply surf the internet.

And while I'd love to dance the night away with my current beau, maybe it's time to survey the room and take inventory of the single suitors in search of a dance partner.